Irresponsibiliy of a Child in College
And I wondered
Is anyone going to stop when I say when?
I really have reached my ending point. Things have been going much too downhill for my tastes. School is out in three weeks and I've never felt like a bigger piece of shit. I absolutely despise phone companies. Or really I despise my own bad habits.
The two girls in the vacintiy of my hearing are both talking on cell phones, while surfing on computers. An overload of media. I think my brain has been melting because of it. I have to leave the library in 20 minutes. I feel like my life is a coffee cup, perfectly happy and slightly full to begin with, then the overzealous waitress comes to offer me more coffee, scalding liquid the splashes slightly when it enters the cup then as the cup fills, more and more, she doesn't notice that she's too busy gabbing to quit pouring. The split second the cup becomes over full, all hell breaks loose as incredibly hot coffee is spilled waterfalling from the table top to the laps of everyone at the table. Suddenly, everyone jumps in an attempt to avoid 3rd degree burns; there have never been more people trying to get away from one coffee cup than right now.
I can't remember what it's like to live within the microcosm of society that is high school. Then again I was never the one associated with everyone else, I was never the person trying to be the perfection that everyone else around wanted them to be. So, I suppose, the microcosom that is high school rejected me. As I rejected it. Society is full of rejection.
I try not to be the person everyone assumes I will become. I would rather be the person everyone wants me to be than be happy. I suppose it makes sense, because I'm not happy now, trying to be my own person, so why not be unhappy making others happy? The only problem then is who am I supposed to listen to when I'm molding my life? If I listened to my parents and family, they would tell me to "be happy" but secretly tell me to live a quite life, learning and doing as I've been shown by my eldest sister. Minus the divorce. Oh hell, who hasn't been divorced these days? Maybe I should shotgun wedding some stranger then get a divorce just so I can be part of the club.
I wonder if anyone would read this and realize the amount of desperation hidden within the release of these words. I wish to become a writer but I have nothing to write about. Acutally, I have everything to write about. I'm making a mental note about that coffee cup thing, I kinda like it.
I wonder if I look like I'm in high school when I sit here?
Is anyone going to stop when I say when?
I really have reached my ending point. Things have been going much too downhill for my tastes. School is out in three weeks and I've never felt like a bigger piece of shit. I absolutely despise phone companies. Or really I despise my own bad habits.
The two girls in the vacintiy of my hearing are both talking on cell phones, while surfing on computers. An overload of media. I think my brain has been melting because of it. I have to leave the library in 20 minutes. I feel like my life is a coffee cup, perfectly happy and slightly full to begin with, then the overzealous waitress comes to offer me more coffee, scalding liquid the splashes slightly when it enters the cup then as the cup fills, more and more, she doesn't notice that she's too busy gabbing to quit pouring. The split second the cup becomes over full, all hell breaks loose as incredibly hot coffee is spilled waterfalling from the table top to the laps of everyone at the table. Suddenly, everyone jumps in an attempt to avoid 3rd degree burns; there have never been more people trying to get away from one coffee cup than right now.
I can't remember what it's like to live within the microcosm of society that is high school. Then again I was never the one associated with everyone else, I was never the person trying to be the perfection that everyone else around wanted them to be. So, I suppose, the microcosom that is high school rejected me. As I rejected it. Society is full of rejection.
I try not to be the person everyone assumes I will become. I would rather be the person everyone wants me to be than be happy. I suppose it makes sense, because I'm not happy now, trying to be my own person, so why not be unhappy making others happy? The only problem then is who am I supposed to listen to when I'm molding my life? If I listened to my parents and family, they would tell me to "be happy" but secretly tell me to live a quite life, learning and doing as I've been shown by my eldest sister. Minus the divorce. Oh hell, who hasn't been divorced these days? Maybe I should shotgun wedding some stranger then get a divorce just so I can be part of the club.
I wonder if anyone would read this and realize the amount of desperation hidden within the release of these words. I wish to become a writer but I have nothing to write about. Acutally, I have everything to write about. I'm making a mental note about that coffee cup thing, I kinda like it.
I wonder if I look like I'm in high school when I sit here?